Yesterday, a few unidentified suspects waltzed into McDonald\u2019s and walked out with RONALD McDONALD himself.
We\u2019re not clowning around. This was a full-blown McNapping.
Ronald was last seen smiling, as usual, unaware of the betrayal. Witnesses say he didn\u2019t even put up a fight.
To the suspects:
We get it \u2014 times are tough, and therapy is expensive. But kidnapping a plastic icon of joy? That\u2019s a McFelony.
To the public:
If you see Ronald out in the wild \u2014 maybe at a party, passenger seat of a car, or sitting awkwardly in someone\u2019s yard \u2014 please call us at 570-669-9111.
In all seriousness, we are looking to identify these individuals. Please contact the Nesquehoning Police Department if you have any information. Thank you.”<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n
Commenters are saying that the person who wrote the Facebook post wins the internet for the day, and we agree.<\/p>\n
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There are also comments from people wondering how in the heck the suspects fit themselves and a huge Ronald McDonald statue into their tiny Nissan Juke getaway car. That’s something we are logistically trying to figure out as well.<\/p>\n
The bottom line is that in Tennessee, if that statue costs more than $1,000, all four of the suspects can be charged with a real-life felony.<\/p>\n
What likely started as an idea on a whim spiraled into national news, and unless the suspects are on the run, they will probably get caught in the near future.<\/p>\n
After all, there are only 3,344 people in the small Tennessee town, so someone likely knows who one or all of the statue thieves are.<\/p>\n