Rolling Stone <\/em><\/a>in 2023 about the run falling through. Parks found her friendship with the singer-songwriter strengthened by the shared experience of not wanting to pretend anymore.<\/p>\n\n\tParks also connected with musician Lucy Dacus, who similarly validated her decisions. \u201cShe was like, \u2018I see you. You did the right thing. You chose yourself.\u2019 That\u2019s what feels really healing,\u201d Parks says. \u201cShe opened her arms to me in that moment, and that\u2019s when we started actually becoming friends.\u201d Relocating to L.A. from London also proved to be a healing decision. \u201cBeing static for the first time in my adult life allowed me to build relationships with deep roots,\u201d Parks says. \u201cI\u2019d always been that friend who wasn\u2019t around, or that friend who was traveling because of the way that I was living.\u201d<\/p>\n
\n\tAmbiguous Desire <\/em>gets deep into her mind. \u201cI\u2019d written this phrase \u2018Desire is an engine,\u2019 because I was just thinking about what it means to be alive and the things that drive us,\u201d Parks says. \u201cYou can understand a lot about a person from their friends, the way they speak, and the things they care about.\u201d The names help to create a sense of proximity, but they\u2019re secondary to the confessions she couches in her verses.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n
\t\tRelated Content<\/p>\n<\/h2>\n<\/section>\n
\n\t\u201cThere are these moments that feel ecstatic, that are then followed by this real darkness,\u201d Parks says. \u201cI feel like it\u2019s almost my duty to write it how it felt. That\u2019s my mantra.\u201d There\u2019s a brief track on the album, not even two minutes in length, that dives head first into the uncertainty and vulnerability of opening up in order to fall in love. \u201c\u2019Cause you cut through me and that\u2019s not a bad thing,\u201d she sings. \u201cDo you hate what you see?\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n
\n\tThe song, \u201cSouth Seconds,\u201d is named after her current partner\u2019s old Brooklyn address. Parks notes that there\u2019s a recurring character, \u201cThe Lover,\u201d that appears a few times, both in reflections on her own relationships and others that she has observed. In her mind, there is no good or bad love. It all adds up the same way. The fear and the lessons led her to where and who she is now. \u201cI do truly feel like I met the love of my life,\u201d she says. The relationship is still fresh, but Parks has already found that \u201cit allows me the room for growth and to know that there is a bit of my core that is still me that will always be loved.\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n
\n\tAmbiguous Desire <\/em>is fueled by platonic love, too. There\u2019s a voice note she accidentally recorded while taking photos of her friends and another from someone who called her to check in, saying, \u201cI miss when we\u2019d do stuff together.\u201d When Parks laid out her goals for the album with her producer and close friend, Baird, she had a clear vision: \u201cI want to challenge myself more than ever. I want to be the biggest music fan that I\u2019ve ever been. I want to be a student. I want to be really honest with myself in my lyrics and be honest about the music that I\u2019ve been submerged in for the past few years.\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\tParks committed to studying not only what it felt like to be moving in the darkness with a mess of bodies, but also what went into making it feel so electric and industrial. <\/strong>She fell down rabbit holes about how certain DJs got their names and the gear they used, or \u201chow the experience of music changed if the booth was in the center, or if it was raised.\u201d She sourced vinyl from flea markets and sampled the London pirate-radio adverts she found on them.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\tParks even took up DJ\u2019ing as a new creative outlet. It all added \u201ca sense of cultural context\u201d to the album, she says. Her girlfriend \u2014 a writer who understands the emotional and mental demands of creating \u2014 indulges her interests. The library they share at home is full of books about those same topics, and they collect records together. \u201cThere is this creative exchange that\u2019s always happening,\u201d Parks adds. \u201cThe environment that you come home to after the studio definitely feels like it nourishes you.\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n
\n\tBut nothing compares to the first-hand experience of hitting the dance floor, or finding new friends in the smoking area. Parks spent a lot of late nights at staple spots in NYC, like Basement, Nowadays, and the now-shuttered Black Flamingo. Other times, she opted for a good old dive bar. They were always overflowing with characters and newfound courage. \u201cI remember I had this night where I was like, \u2018How did I end up here in this metal bar?\u2019\u201d Parks says. \u201cAnd I\u2019m, like, talking to this metal dude about him falling in love with another guy for the first time.\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n
\n\tParks traces her nightlife origins back to Auntie, an underground party she attended in Los Angeles with a DJ friend a few years ago. \u201cI felt this affinity to it immediately,\u201d she says. \u201cI spent so much of my life playing shows and it was about dark space, collecting music, the magic of that. I felt a weird kinship between that and going to shows and being in the club. There was something familiar about it.\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n
\n\tA few years ago, Parks settled into a bungalow-style home in Silver Lake. She lived alone, but she was rarely on her own. Every few weeks, she invited her closest friends over and encouraged them to bring along anyone they knew who similarly sought community. \u201cL.A. can be lonely,\u201d she says. \u201cIt just became this really beautiful community thing. People would come only once when they were in town, or would come every time. It became this little enclave of trusted folks who wanted to meet other good people.\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n
\n\tAn attentive host, Parks often set the mood for the night with tea lights and special candles. In the background, she\u2019d leave the Criterion Channel stream playing quietly on the TV. The other sounds that filled the room, other than the chatter of her guests, came from Parks and her friends spinning on her DDJ 200 DJ controller. On an ideal night, she serves natural wine and throws on Donna Summer, Blood Orange, and Solange records before everyone heads out to party. On the best night, she adds, they\u2019d catch sets from Honey Dijon, Eris Drew, and Octo Octa.<\/p>\n\n\n
\t\tTrending Stories<\/p>\n<\/h2>\n<\/section>\n
\n\t\u201cSeeing people dancing, connecting, and moving \u2014 and being the sonic curator of those spaces \u2014 has meant so much to me,\u201d Parks says. She wanted Ambiguous Desire <\/em>to feel the same way. \u201cMy first record felt really intimate, you sit with your morning coffee at your kitchen table and enjoy it alone,\u201d Parks says. \u201cAnd this feels like, \u2018OK, everyone\u2019s coming outside now.\u2019\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\tParks thinks of her previous releases as time capsules of who she used to be, but also proof that some things never change. \u201cI still feel like the same person I was when I was 15 and I was doing this at home on my own,\u201d she says. \u201cI look back on those records really fondly. This is what my taste was. These were the people that I loved or that I was around.\u201d When she looks back on this period of life, Parks is confident it will reflect exactly how she felt as it happened. \u201cThere is something quite magical about having documentation of my whole life by the time I get to my sixties, or whatever,\u201d she adds. \u201cI\u2019ll still be making records, for sure.\u201d<\/p>\n<\/div>\n
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