\u201cI Follow Rivers.\u201d<\/a><\/p>\n\n\tYet the success came with an industry eager to label her as an \u201cindie-pop girl\u201d in her early twenties, a constricting box for any artist.\u00a0Despite this, Li, 40, has pursued her own identity throughout her three subsequent albums: She drew critical acclaim with the devastating I Never Learn,<\/em> left fans divided on Reddit threads over her trap-influenced so sad so sexy,<\/em> and reunited and slowed things down with longtime producer Bj\u00f6rn Yttling for 2022\u2019s Eyeye.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\tNow, the Swedish-born singer is reevaluating her next move in the face of a world moving at a disorienting pace and \u201changing on for dear life\u201d amid an international summer tour. In a sprawling conversation over Zoom with Rolling Stone <\/em>from her L.A. kitchen, Li reflects on The Afterparty<\/em>\u2019s existential themes, her quest for ultimate freedom, and why this probably isn\u2019t her last album, despite implying that in the press.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\tDuring the conversation, she dons large black sunglasses and a hoodie pulled over her head. She also declares that she is giving herself permission to be a \u201cfuckboy British rock star.\u201d More on that later.<\/p>\n\n\n \t\tEditor\u2019s picks<\/p>\n<\/h2>\n<\/section>\n
\n\t\u201cThis album, and also this world, and who I am as a person, it\u2019s full of juxtaposition and contradiction. So, there are two forces pulling at each other at all times, and I thought that struggle was really interesting. I mean, that\u2019s how we are as people, right? We say one thing, but there\u2019s like a whole other meaning behind it. We all live in duality,\u201d Li says of The Afterparty<\/em>.<\/p>\n\n\tThis duality spans the album\u2019s succinct 24 minutes and nine tracks, which were largely written by Li in Los Angeles and recorded in Stockholm. Executive produced by Li and Yttling, its 17-piece string orchestra underscores her lyrics\u2019 mix of ecstasy and fear from \u201cLucky Again,\u201d in which Li sings, \u201cI wait and I wait\/Won\u2019t be long \u2019til I\u2019m face down\u201d to \u201cSo Happy I Could Die,\u201d where she asks, \u201cHow long can it last?\u201d<\/p>\n
\n\t\u201cMy dream is to crack the code. What if I could describe what it feels like to be alive in words and music? I\u2019m obsessed with songwriting,\u201d Li says. \u201cI like when something is twisting me up, where there\u2019s a level of subliminal mystery to it.\u201d<\/p>\n
\n\tWhen making The Afterparty<\/em>, Li, who is a mother of two, says her circumstances at home \u201cwere the opposite of free.\u201d \u201cEven just the physicality of giving life, it\u2019s like a horror film. It\u2019s so brutal. So, to then go to the studio and just be like, \u2018You know what, I\u2019m just gonna, like, fuck all that. I\u2019m gonna give myself permission to just be rock & roll,,\u2019\u201d she says. \u201cI gave myself permission to just become a fuckboy British rock star in my head.\u201d<\/p>\n\n
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\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/p><\/div>\n<\/p><\/div>\n<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\tThat\u2019s been a shift since her debut Youth Novels<\/em>, Li explains. She\u2019s become more comfortable with herself as she\u2019s moved through her career. \u201cThe beauty of living more is understanding more, knowing yourself more,\u201d she says. \u201cThis creature that I am now is quite a strange creature that I feel very like androgynous. And I\u2019m totally okay with that.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n \t\tRelated Content<\/p>\n<\/h2>\n<\/section>\n
\n\tHowever, getting to that place of acceptance was not easy. \u201cAs women, you enter this world and the price of admission is you have to be beautiful, worthy; there\u2019s always an expectation in a role that I don\u2019t think you are aware of when you\u2019re young,\u201d she says. Men, she adds, don\u2019t face the same expectations when it comes to their creative work: \u201cThe guys, they just get to put on a trucker hat and play guitar and immerse themselves in something that is eternal.\u201d<\/p>\n
\n\tShe posits, \u201cIs there a way to strip away all the physical and just be plainly an artist?\u201d<\/p>\n
\n\tLi says that for her next project, she wants to keep pushing the limits: \u201cOn my next album, I\u2019d like to go even further. Maybe only limit myself to using six tracks.\u201d<\/p>\n
\n\tThat\u2019s interesting, I tell her, since she\u2019d said before The Afterparty<\/em> is her last record. \u201cI just said that when I was drunk and nervous at the release party,\u201d she replies. \u201cMaking an album for me is kind of going through like hell.\u201d She pauses, and asks, \u201cHave you seen Burden of Dreams<\/em> about Werner Herzog?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\tI haven\u2019t, so she describes it. The film, a documentary about director Herzog\u2019s 1982 epic Fitzcarraldo<\/em>, captures the troubled movie\u2019s production, which infamously involved Herzog attempting to lug a 320-ton steamship up a hill. \u201cThere\u2019s so much struggle in having your vision exist, and even when it exists and manifests, it\u2019s so different from what you dreamed of. So, just finishing something and having it exist in the world as a finished manifestation is brutal.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\tShe references her comment about The Afterparty <\/em>being her last album and says, \u201cI said that because that\u2019s what I do: I lay all the chips on the table. I\u2019m like, \u2018Maybe this time I\u2019ll get it right, and I can finally go back to being a normal person.\u2019\u201d <\/p>\n\n\t\u201cThen she adds, \u201c\u201dBut I don\u2019t think I can,\u201d she adds with a chuckle. \u201cI sincerely can\u2019t find another job.\u201d<\/p>\n
\n\tWhile she\u2019ll likely always be making music, Li considers the idea of being able to \u201cunsubscribe\u201d from the industry\u2019s \u201cterms and limits and values\u201d and having the liberty of choosing her persona at will. She brings up the finale to her Coachella set last spring, where she lit a cigarette on stage and danced to Corona\u2019s Eurodance hit \u201cThe Rhythm of the Night.\u201d As a handheld camera followed her backstage, she continued to move in a state of exhilaration before the scene cut.\u00a0<\/p>\n
\n\tThe moment was a direct reference to Beau Travail<\/em><\/a> <\/em>by Claire Denis, Li says. In the landmark film, based on Herman Melville\u2019s novel of dismantling masculinity, actor Denis Levant plays a sergeant who finds himself in a state of release and delirium at the end of the film as he hits a lonely dancefloor to the same song.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n \t\tTrending Stories<\/p>\n<\/h2>\n<\/section>\n
\n\tIn the end, Li is in the pursuit of freedom and creative expression.<\/p>\n
\n\t\u201cHow many of these masks can I strip off?\u201d she wonders out loud. \u201cWhat is mine, and what has society put on top of me? That is my dream. In the end it\u2019s just the work, and it has nothing really to do with me. I want to be a vessel, and we all just want to be free, right? That\u2019s what we all want, is to be free.\u201d<\/p>\n<\/div>\n
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