\n<\/p>\n
\n\tTeam:<\/strong> Dallas Cowboys \n\tWhen will Jerry Jones, The Owner, fire Jerry Jones, The General Manager?<\/p>\n \n\tThis is the question we ask ourselves year after year. No scandal can oust him from his perch atop the Cowboys\u2019 totem pole. No amount of failure, and he has accumulated a significant amount, can shake his belief in himself as the consummate \u201cfootball man.\u201d So, yes, I just completed my annual reread of Craig Miller\u2019s Guide to Never Again Buying Into the Cowboys By Craig Miller (yup, he put his name in the title twice because it\u2019s a pretend book, BUT IT\u2019S A REAL ISSUE), and as always I find myself buying into the Cowboys anyway.<\/p>\n \n\tI like Brian Schottenheimer despite people\u2019s universal insistence on calling him Shotty. His offense last year kicked a lot of ass. The D? Not so much. But the Christian Parker Defensive Shift is Underway and The Dallas Defense Finally Has Their War Daddy (both of these are titles of Substack essays by my buddy Bob Sturm, who\u2019s the final word in Cowboys coverage), so to quote the title of the 1998 Sandra Bullock vehicle (which features the Old 97\u2019s song \u201cJagged\u201d), Hope Floats. But does it float like a mighty warship or a lowly turd?<\/p>\n \n\tDo y\u2019all remember that the Cowboys went 7-9-AND ONE last season? They tied the Green Bay Packers in a 40-40 game. A scorigami! That\u2019s a sign of a team that\u2019s cursed. Again, I\u2019m looking at you, Jerry.<\/p>\n \n\tBut. But!\u00a0<\/p>\n \n\tI can\u2019t help but agree with Old 97\u2019s lead guitarist Ken Bethea, who just emerged from his bunk on our tour bus and announced, \u201cCowboys are gonna win the fucking Super Bowl!\u201d<\/p>\n \n\tSo there you have it. The Cowboys are gonna win the fucking Super Bowl.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n
Prediction:<\/strong> [Rhett Miller\u2019s Dallas Cowboys 2026 Season Prediction by a 7th-generation Texan and Lifelong Cowboy Fan Rhett Miller: An Essay.<\/em>]<\/p>\n