The Best and Worst Classic Rock Holiday Songs: Roundtable

If you’ve ever fancied taking a ride on a different kind of Polar Express, a discussion with friends about the best and worst holiday songs might be just the ticket you’ve been waiting for.

It’s important to realize that there will be a difference of opinion….many of them, in fact. Two evergreen (intentional pun) battles center around “Last Christmas” by Wham! and separately, Paul McCartney’s “Wonderful Christmastime.” An informal social media poll across all of my accounts revealed a nearly universal hatred for “All I Want for Christmas is You” by Mariah Carey. We’re sure you probably have some thoughts to contribute to the pool of opinions as well.

We dug into this and other topics during the latest episode of the UCR Podcast. You can listen to our entire discussion below (and wherever you get your podcasts). Selected excerpts from our conversation follow.

1) What are some of the trademark elements of a good holiday song?

Allison Rapp: I love the kind of Christmas covers where you can tell specifically that it is that person’s style and nobody else could have done it the same way. For example, Bruce Springsteen’s “Santa Claus is Comin’ to Town,” that is such a quintessential E Street record to me. The recording of it, the arrangement, nobody else could have done the song that way. So those are my favorite kind of classic rock Christmas songs when you can tell it’s very much true to that person’s unique, original style.

Watch Bruce Springsteen Perform ‘Santa Claus is Comin’ to Town’

Corey Irwin: In terms of characteristic, I think any Christmas song needs to capture that spirit. I know that’s a very general term, but I think there’s something about Christmas that’s very whimsical. It’s got a sense of nostalgia to it. So if anybody is trying to create something new, it needs to tap into that. If it doesn’t, I feel like immediately, everybody’s going to dismiss it as just a cash grab.

READ MORE: 30 Sad Holiday Songs

2) What do you find annoying about holiday songs that are perhaps more formulaic?

Irwin: There’s the checklist theory — I’m making a Christmas song, so I need to hit all of these points. I need to hit Santa, I need to hear reindeer, I need to hit snowmen — I need all of these things. It’s wedging something in that’s unnecessary if it doesn’t fit the story to the song, to the lyrics, it feels disingenuous. I think that can really sound grating to a listener. Also, one example that happened to me recently, you’ll hit Spotify or whatever and it will start giving you a playlist. You start with artists that you know and then of course, the algorithm throws in things and you don’t know what you’re getting . I got this Gwen Stefani / Blake Shelton Christmas song, “You Make it Feel Like Christmas,” and it’s possibly one of the worst, not just Christmas song, but recordings I’ve ever heard in my life. It’s just so painful, because it doesn’t even sound like they like each other. I know they’re a couple, but I don’t believe they like each other in the song. It just sounds like they’re both kind of “pasting on the Christmas schtick” to get some streams and that’s it. It’s like, well, that’s not Christmas. That’s not fun. That’s not something I want to listen to while I’m trying to spend some time with my family. It just felt very fake and phony.

Bryan Rolli: That’s just capitalism, which one could argue is actually the true reason for the season. But when we’re talking about musical merit, that makes for a pretty bad song. I think unsuccessful Christmas songs, they take all of these elements that are supposed to traditionally be in a Christmas song and they’re using those things in place of an actual narrative and story to tell. They can also go the other direction where they become overly maudlin and sentimental. I have nothing against a melancholic Christmas, but for example, I was out running an errand earlier today and I happened to turn on the radio. Bob Seger’s version of “Little Drummer Boy” was playing and that’s not one of my favorite Christmas songs. I just feel like it’s so overwrought. There’s such an effort there to convey, “Yes, this is a serious Christmas song. I am singing about a serious topic. You must listen to the song with reverence and respect.” And it’s like, nobody was questioning the merit of the song in the first place. That version becomes so heavy handed that it makes it a challenging listen.

Watch Wham!’s ‘Last Christmas’ Video

3) How do you feel about the whole Whamageddon thing where people try to avoid hearing “Last Christmas” by Wham! until Christmas Eve?

Matt Wardlaw: For me, it’s kind of like Rick Astley’s “Never Gonna Give You Up” and people getting “Rickrolled.” This has become kind of the holiday version of that, with people going out of their way to avoid getting “caught” by “Last Christmas.” The song itself is such a polarizing thing. People either like it or they hate it. But if you like it, why would you want to wait to experience that joy by trying to avoid the song?

Rolli: I get it. In this instance, I’m a big fan of “Last Christmas.” I think it’s a beautiful song and I think it’s one of my favorite Christmas rock/pop songs. I don’t place myself in as many scenarios where it’s likely I’m going to hear Christmas music. I don’t have the radio on very often. I don’t work in retail. Most days, I don’t really leave my house between the hours of 9 and 5, because of the perk of working remotely. If I were to be in those environments more, I’d proably get sick of it really fast, the same way I’m perpetually sick of Mariah Carey’s “All I Want For Christmas is You.” If I never heard that one again, it would be too soon. So I understand the logic behind a game like that. But honestly, I’m at the point where if “Last Christmas” comes on, I still see it as kind of a reprieve from some of the worst Christmas songs.

4) What are some of the worst Christmas songs in your opinion?

Rapp: I’m a longtime dedicated, devoted John Lennon fan. I always have been, always will be. But I cannot sit through “Happy Xmas (War is Over).” I don’t know if it’s the children’s choir aspect of it. I can’t even put my finger exactly on it, but to me, it just drones on and on and I can’t sit through the whole song. I don’t think I’ve sat through the whole song in years. I can’t stand it.

Wardlaw: I’m glad to hear you say that. When that song comes on the radio, I know there’s supposed to be a positive message there….

Rapp: …yeah, of unity and goodness. I don’t know what that says about me, but I hate it.

Rolli: I’m with you both. I think if I have to look at it as objectively as possible, structurally, the song is fine. But at this point, its goodness and sincerity and importance, it’s like it insists upon itself. Because people use it as a counterpoint to “Wonderful Christmastime,” normally, they’re trying to argue that “Happy Xmas” is a better song than that one. It’s like, “Look at this, the real Christmas song, between the two! It’s evidence that John Lennon was better than Paul McCartney!” It’s overwrought and I have a Pavlovian response to it. Similarly, I cannot hear the whole thing anymore.

Listen to the ‘Best and Worst Christmas Songs’ Episode of the ‘UCR Podcast’

Irwin: I like it. You know, part of that is — and this kind of goes for all Christmas songs — I remember my parents playing that song when I was little, so I have a very positive recollection of hearing that song around Christmastime. It has that nostalgia for me, so I have a personal connection to it. I probably kind of overlook some of those things you guys are talking about. That being said, I’m certainly in the camp of hating “Wonderful Christmastime.” I think I understand to some degree, why. Let’s say it’s 1979 and somebody comes to you and says, “Babe, wake up! Paul McCartney’s released a Christmas song!” You’re thinking, “Are you serious?? This is one of the greatest, if not the greatest songwriter ever, this is going to be amazing. This is going to change Christmas every year. It’s going to be special.” Then, you hear “Wonderful Christmastime” and it’s such a letdown. You know, the Band Aid song, “Do They Know it’s Christmas,” it’s probably the same idea. You have some of the greatest musical minds ever in one room and that’s what you got? It’s a letdown. So there’s a certain level of expectation that comes with it that I think probably affects the way you view it. If somebody I’d never heard of had released “Wonderful Christmastime,” I’d probably just ignore it. But because it’s Paul McCartney, I’m like, man, this is so lame!

Watch Paul McCartney’s ‘Wonderful Christmastime’ Video

5) What are some of the Christmas songs that you really like?

Wardlaw: I know this is not a hard sell for Allison, but I like “Christmas All Over Again” by Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers. That’s a longtime favorite — and it’s for similar reasons like Corey talked about. Some of these songs, I heard them for the very first time when I was a kid, so I’m still very sentimental about them and that Petty song is definitely one of those for me.

Irwin: I think Joni Mitchell’s “River” is a classic song, one of those that will hit you in the heart pretty much anytime you listen to it. It kind of goes with what Bryan was saying about having that melancholy aspect to it and also being personal and relatable — and a Christmas song that’s only lightly about Christmas. It’s not hitting you over the head with it. So that’s one I’ll always listen to, no matter what.

Rapp: “River” is definitely on my list too. Joni Mitchell, I don’t think you can have a Christmas playlist without there being at least one or two sad Christmas songs. Along those same lines, “Please Come Home for Christmas,” the Eagles song. That one is usually on my rotation. Also, I really love and I was just listening to it the other day, because I got roped into hosting my friend’s annual little holiday party and I was in charge of music — I stumbled across the Ray Charles version of “Santa Claus is Coming to Town.” That version is really great, really smooth and authentic to his own style.

Rolli: I really like “Little Saint Nick” by the Beach Boys. Lyrically, it goes against a lot of what I said about what constitutes a good Christmas song, maybe, but it just lets their strengths as a band shine. I love the harmonies. It’s so catchy. I always remember the Coca-Cola commercial it features in with the big polar bear, so there’s positive memories there, great associations. Also, I’m a big fan of Elvis Presley’s version of “Blue Christmas.” I love the vocal on it. It’s got this blend of being a tiny, tiny bit melancholy, maybe in its subject matter, but it’s also a bit campy at the same time. It’s a classic.

Watch the Beach Boys’ ‘Little Saint Nick’ Video