If the engagement ring Benny Blanco slipped onto Selena Gomez’s finger in December has sealed his fate as a stay-at-home husband, he considers it to be a pretty good deal. “That’s what I’m praying for,” the producer and songwriter, 37, says over Zoom from their Los Angeles residence. “I like to be domestic.”
Gomez, 32, is seated to his right, smiling down at the massive marquise diamond beaming back at her. She can’t complain, either. When she’s craving chips and queso in the dead of the night, he’s down in the kitchen making it happen. And when she hunkered down in their home recording studio — unsure of her musical direction after a few false starts in the five years since her LP Rare — Blanco helped clear the fog.
“That’s the most intimate I’ve ever been in a studio,” says Gomez, who dropped her fourth studio album, a release with Blanco titled I Said I Love You First, out on March 21. “We did everything from home, and we created it with people that we love.” Having familiar collaborators Julia Michaels and Justin Tranter on the project, along with Blanco, unlocked a sense of freedom in the singer and actress. You can hear it in the winking innuendos on her new single “Sunset Blvd,” and in the bare confessions of the tender ballad “Younger & Hotter.”
And while I Said I Love You First has taken slight precedence over wedding planning, Gomez and Blanco see the record as an extension of their relationship. “I hadn’t seen her excited about music for a long time. And I remember she was like, ‘I have to pull over the car because I’m so happy,’” Blanco remembers. “And then I knew at that moment. I was like, ‘Well, if it’s making both of us happy, then hopefully it makes a few other people happy.’”
What did album mode feel like for you guys?
Gomez: I was, to be honest, very frustrated and kind of confused on where I wanted to go next musically. And we had been together for a while, and obviously I would confide in him. I couldn’t figure out my sound. It helps that he knows a little bit about music, and it kind of happened organically to where I felt like this process was unlike any other process I’d ever been through.
Blanco: She’d wake up, I’d have a pen out, and I’d write what was on her mind. Then we’d go into the other room and create it, and it became a song. It was such a cathartic and therapeutic experience. All the songwriting, it’s all our friends. There’s no, like, “Man, we’re gonna get in with this person for the first time — I wonder how this is gonna go.” We also kept this one really close to the chest, because I feel like it was so important for it to be written exactly how we wanted it and to feel exactly how we wanted it to feel.
Selena, when you look back at who you were when you made Revival ten years ago, how do you marry those two versions of yourself?
Gomez: Revival was such a pivotal moment for me, and I’ll always be so proud of it. I think [in terms of’ headspace, I was very happy with how the album went, because I really felt very much in control of that and then the image of it all was really important too. But I think now, this sounds so silly, but I’m older, so I think the way I go about things is different. I don’t obsess over certain things to make it. I just tried so hard to be cool, you know? I just wanted to be viewed as cool. “Good for You,” having A$AP [Rocky] on it, I was so honored and it was such a highlight.
This is another version, just being able to do this with someone I love, who happens to also be one of the most talented producers, and then doing it after building years of those relationships. I did “Good for You” ten years ago with Julia [Michaels] and Justin [Tranter], and they’re incredible. They’re on every album, but they’re on this album. This one felt like, okay, now I have a little bit more of a rein on what I’m doing, and I have the same people, but also him, and it makes it feel more mature.
How did your approach to emotional ballads change after having a career-defining moment with “Lose You to Love Me”?
Gomez: I think it’s safe to say my strength in music would be just storytelling and the way that I just feel comfortable in a lower register and a softer tone. That’s something that I know I can bring to the table, so I just tried to highlight that. And so did Benny, while he was composing everything and putting it together. It was like, “What would be nice and soothing for my voice, nothing that sounded like I was trying to be anything else?” That was really important to me. To do these vulnerable songs, it’s nice because I’m in a different place than I was.
Looking at this new era of pop stars — Sabrina Carpenter, Chappell Roan, Gracie Abrams, even Charli XCX — do you see elements of pop right now that could be traced back to an album like Revival? “Same Old Love” and “Good For You” feel ahead of their time.
Blanco: Right now is such an amazing time for music, because more so than ever, there’s no label being like, “This is the song you have to listen to.” There’s no radio pushing it down your throat. Kids are going online and they’re discovering this music themselves, and they’re like, “I don’t give a fuck if this person wasn’t the biggest artist in the world yesterday, they are today.” They’re changing the wave and I think it’s letting people express themselves in so many different ways.
Charli is the perfect example, because she brings all the best points of 2010 and the 2000s, in how she dresses and what she [creates]. She’s created, not only a sonic landscape, but she’s created such a lifestyle. I love when artists can do that for people, and Billie is a great version of that too. Having all these females that can empower people to not be like everyone else. I just love that Selena was so instrumental in helping cultivate that sound. She was never trying to be anybody else. She was, like emo whisper-y before it was a thing. The one thing I love about her music, beyond obviously her voice and her tone and everything, is her point of view. No matter what type of song she’s doing, she’s speaking from the heart. She doesn’t give a fuck what anyone else thinks. And you either like it or you don’t.
How did the Gracie Abrams feature on “Call Me When You Break Up” come together?
Blanco: I’ve known Gracie since she was 14 years old. She used to date a very good friend of mine, one of my proteges. When she started making music, I jumped at the drop of a hat to put her on one of my songs, before anyone knew her. One day, me and Selena were just talking about stuff, and Selena started following her, and they started commenting on each other’s things … She has so many unique characteristics about her, but she also has so many similar ones to Selena. When they hang out, they’re like, “Oh my god, we’re like, the same person.” And they’re both little hermits that want to stay in and they’re both pretty shy, but somehow turn it on and become the biggest stars in the world.
It was really cool watching them interact, and especially when we shot a music video. They can both speak their mind and it’s almost like telepathy when they were talking to each other. And it felt like Sel was giving her almost like a big sister role, because she’s been in these situations for so long. We talk about that a lot on the album, too. Sel’s so easy to talk to and so is Gracie. But it just felt like they’ve known each other for 20 years.
Gomez: And low-key, I got cool points from my little sister for having her on. So I was very happy about that.
Tell me about “Sunset Blvd.” Could you have made something that was playful and provocative like this if you weren’t just messing around with a bunch of friends?
Blanco: This song was exactly that. It was us in the room laughing, being like, can we really get away with it? Is this really something we’re gonna do? That’s when the best moments come out. A lot of artists won’t do stuff like that. And Selena has the perfect way of dipping her toe in the water of, like, almost too far, but not — but, like, is it? And it’s because she’s so multifaceted.
Gomez: I’m more comfortable kind of playing with the lyrics than I used to be. And I want to actually thank all the other artists that you were talking about, because they have opened the door to this interpretive type of cheekiness in their lyrics. I think there’s a little bit more freedom to play.
Tell me about “Scared of Loving You.”
Blanco: We did that song with Finneas, we did “Younger & Hotter” with him, too. Finneas and Billie were huge fans of Selena — “Bad Guy,” the drop is literally based off Wizards of Waverly Place. I was watching Juno, and then I was listening to the Moldy Peaches and stuff. And I was like, Oh, my God, we need to produce this song so it feels like Selena’s almost like whispering in your ear and she’s just talking to you, but she’s singing. When she says, “I’m not scared of dying young or anyone,” it really hits me, because only Selena would say something like that because of all the hardship she’s gone through.
She never complains about anything ever. I truly think she means that when she says, “I’m not scared of dying young,” and it scares me to death whenever she talks about it. She just has such an interesting outlook on life. And Selena has a way of just like, when she talks to you, you believe her, and you feel like you’re the person in her shoes. Selena, does get a ton of inspiration from Texas, deep country storytelling. You never know what she’s going to be listening to when you come in the car, like she could be listening to anything like it. And all genres, yeah, all genres. And it’s just like, it’s really cool that she’ll pull from that in every way.
Gomez: I also personally love the fact that that song is very simple, and just to the point. The second verse is my favorite verse. It’s just what I would actually say to someone. Like, if I lose my shit, please don’t laugh. If I do something stupid and people know, like, just have my side, please. Because it’s already hard enough to face it with everyone in the world.
Selena, you were recently nominated for a Golden Globe, and so were Ariana Grande and Miley Cyrus. How do you think about the role your music has played for the young women who grew up watching and listening to you?
Gomez: Music should be interpreted at any point. I go back and listen to some of my best friends’ music, like when I was 18, just to feel those feelings again. And that’s what I love about music. It’s a very powerful tool to use your voice to take you back to memories, to make new memories and create this space where people feel good. And I think more than ever, we need it. I’m so honored, to your point of all the other girls — you have no idea how proud I was to see that. It was really cool to see us going into this whole new world together.
You had a recent moment feeling emotional and taking it to social media — and then remembering the world is not a very empathic place anymore. What does that look like for you two, as far as being able to have someone in your corner?
Gomez: You know, I think it’s actually equally important to have good people around you. So yes, he is definitely my number one, but my friends are wonderful people who know my heart. And I think at the end of the day, I’m always gonna be unapologetically who I am, and that’s how I am with all of my stuff. I’m just really grateful. You are who you surround yourself with, and to know I have someone that gets it and doesn’t want anything from me and just wants to sit and listen to me is everything. So I feel very, very lucky. It’s nice. He’s actually my friend.
Thinking about what we saw at the Grammys — Beyoncé finally winning Album of the Year, Doechii speaking up for Black women, Chappell’s speech about artists having access to health insurance — how do you think about the responsibility of an artist to advocate for different causes and voices?
Gomez: I think that’s what kind of makes it really comfortable. Because, yes, Chappell had her moment, and everybody would come up and say something that they believe and they care about. If anything, it was encouraging. It makes me feel like, oh, it’s okay if I share my heart with people. I’ll never be ashamed of doing that. It’s just more about making sure you’re just careful, but you stand by what you believe.
The album title, I Said I Love You First, feels like a middle finger to the people who had so much to say about your relationship. Tell me why you chose to call it that.
Gomez: It’s just factual. It just is actually what went down, and it describes us. This whole project embodies his stories combined with my stories. They have meanings that are really just personal to both of us. So one song could actually mean two different things. And I think it was just really cute. I think it was probably your idea. But, yeah, guilty as charged. I said “I love you” first.
Blanco: She did. I’m just happy to be along for the ride, I’ll tell you that much. I’m happy. Put me in, Coach. I’m doing whatever it takes.
You kept your relationship incredibly private for the first six months. Were there moments when you considered going public but decided against it?
Blanco: I definitely tried to keep it private for a while, because it’s a lot. I remember us having a conversation about whether we were going to keep dating or not. We just had to make sure, because she’s as big as it gets and it’s a big undertaking. It’s not like you date someone for a few weeks and then you’re like, “Oh, OK, bye.” So we just took it slow. Then it started becoming such a hard thing, because it was like, “I don’t want to just have dinner inside with you and have all of our dates inside and we’re wearing a mask the entire date, and then we have to go hide in a car.”
I was so sure that I was gonna marry her. I just knew. It’s just a very different feeling. I know when Sel wakes up, she’s thinking in her head, “How can I make this day as good as I can for Benny?” And I know I’m waking up and saying, “How can I make this day as good for Sel?” We’re just thinking about each other.
How soon after the engagement does the full-blown wedding planning start?
Blanco: I think every day she’s planned a new wedding in her head. We’re very much “take it one day at a time”-type of people. We’re still not over this moment. Literally, while you were talking, she was sitting there staring at her ring.
Gomez: Also, I genuinely feel like this is such a special time that we get to apply it to this album and really just pour our heart into it, and completely translate what we feel and bring it to the world. That’s my main focus right now, at least.
Having Taco Bell be part of the proposal felt so ordinary, in the best way.
Blanco: I think people think we’re like, this thing in Rolls Royces, and like going around —
Gomez: Do they?
Blanco: No, no, but we literally play like N64 and order Dominos. We’re just living our life every day. There’s not this whole elaborate thing. I think we’re very lucky to be surrounded by such great people, and we’ve still just been enjoying so much. It feels like we got engaged yesterday, but also feels like we got engaged 20 years ago. I’ve known her since she was 18, and so it’s like we got all that stuff out of the way. By the time we’re dating, it’s like, whoa. My biggest regret is that we didn’t get to do this earlier, like we waited this long to be together. But I know it was perfect and it was right.
Gomez: Everything happens for a reason.
Benny, you post so much food content on TikTok, and, Selena, you have Selena + Chef. What role has food and cooking in particular played in your relationship?
Blanco: I always know what she wants. I can feel it. But then every once in a while, there’ll be something so random. I remember she never said this ever, and then she was like, “I want a doughnut.” And I was like, “I’ve never even heard you talk about a doughnut.” It’s fun, and you get to put it into your work, too. When she’s recording vocals, I like to go downstairs and make tea, make little snacks, bring them up.
Gomez: I don’t really cook. I’m incredibly timid, and I just am also intimidated by his skills. I know people might just see this stuff, but his food is really good. It’s kind of my love language, and he happens to make the most delicious things.
Blanco: She’s a great cook. Just like everything else in her life, she tries to downplay it. But I do love cooking her breakfast every day. These are the moments we get to have with each other, because we’re both so busy, we’re both doing so many things. It’s amazing to be able to sit down for 30 minutes and just have a meal that I cooked, or we cooked, or she cooked, and just be able to sit there and talk about nothing and just melt into the experience.
What does the house sound like on a chill night in, or when you’re having some friends over?
Blanco: I’ll be playing the best shit. I’ll be playing Philly-soul era, or playing Luther Vandross. I’ll be playing [Charles] Mingus or [John] Coltrane — and she always tries to steal it. If I’m in the bathroom or I go away, she tries to get on. But, no, me and Sel both love oldies. We went away the other day, and we got to take a bath and listen to Ella Fitzgerald.
Gomez: And it depends. When we have friends over, we’ll do cooking nights and we’ll play [music] depending on the food, sometimes. I’m also just, like, I love my main pop girls. I have to put those on rotation.
What’s your favorite thing about each other?
Blanco: Her heart and the way she treats everybody. Her best friend, she treats the same way as someone she’s holding the door open for or walking down the street. She has one of the kindest hearts I’ve ever met in my entire life. OK, I’m done. You better say something good.
Gomez: I was like, “Damn it, I should have gone first.” But genuinely, I think he’s incredibly kind, he’s supportive, he’s uplifting, he’s very, very smart. I love picking his brain about everything. He’s one of my best friends, if not my best.
Blanco: Better be.
