Lizzo is releasing herself from the weight of worrying about how other people perceive her weight. In a recent interview with Women’s Health, the musician detailed her experience acclimating to her recent physical changes. “I like how I look now. I still think I’m big,” Lizzo said. “I’m still wearing plus-size clothing. I have the same rolls. I got the same belly, the same thighs – I think I’m just a smaller version. Body positivity has nothing to do with staying the same. Body positivity is the radical act of daring to exist loudly and proudly in a society that told you you shouldn’t exist.”
In the past, Lizzo has struggled with disordered eating and intense depression during a particularly dark period. “It got to the point where I was like, ‘I could die,’” she said. “I never attempted to kill myself or thought about it, but I did think, If everyone hates you and thinks you’re a terrible person, then what’s the point?”
A portion of the backlash came nearly two years ago, when three of Lizzo’s former dancers leveled a lawsuit against her that is still active in court. The dancers alleged a toxic work environment and sexual harassment by Lizzo and her staff through inappropriate and coercive language and strip club outings. The public response to the suit was fueled, at least in part, by pre-existing criticism. Lizzo told Women’s Health that she has endured “backlash my entire career” for her weight and race.
“I got very paranoid and isolated,” she said. “I used to walk into glam and be like, ‘Oh, let me tell you about this crazy shit that happened last night!’ I couldn’t do that anymore. I pushed everyone away. I wasn’t even talking to my therapist. I wasn’t present. I wasn’t open. I wasn’t myself anymore.”
Shifting her focus toward her health and weight loss journey gave her something else to fight for and restored a sense of control. She considered surgeries to lose weight, but decided against undergoing any procedures. “If I did all of this on Ozempic, if I did all this with surgery, I would be just as proud of myself, because this shit is hard,” Lizzo said. “Everyone who’s ever been in a bigger body in this current version of society knows that this shit ain’t easy. Existing isn’t easy.”
Lizzo is proud of the work she put into shedding weight, but is still adjusting to her new reality, just as she had to come to love her body before. “It’s radical to fuck with yourself,” she said. “I had to fight for that [to love myself]. And now I’m fighting again.” She added: “It’s okay to release weight. It’s okay to gain weight after you’ve released weight, because what you’re not going to do is shame me if my body changes again and I get bigger.”
Lizzo recently released the surprise rap mixtape My Face Hurts From Smiling. The project is a reflection of the fear she shed of offending people and overthinking. “Being bullied for being fat on the internet for five years straight, being the butt of every fat joke, having my pictures turned into bombs blowing up the world and shit — you can’t really hurt my feelings now,” Lizzo recently told Rolling Stone. “And I’m not afraid to hurt your feelings, because you clearly aren’t afraid to hurt mine. So that’s what this relationship is going to be. I’m going to say what I want to say and you’re going to say what you want to say.”
